Triggers of Grief

Its funny how small things can cause your grief to surge. Something you might encounter everyday, the weather, time of year, a song. It can set you back to a very painful part of your grief. In a few weeks it will be 6 years since we lost our first son Derek. 6 years is a long time to be without a person you love, especially a child. It might as well be 600 years. Every year since, the beginning of spring is a time of mixed emotions. Happy to have nice weather. Sad to know another year is passing.  The buds on the trees and the soon to be blooming flowers brings me right back to the days before Derek's birth. The anticipation, the excitement, the wanting to share with him this life. It also brings back the desperation and sadness of losing him. The utter betrayal of the world moving on as if he never existed. I remember feeling like every new blossom was a knife to the heart. Every sunny day another drop in the bucket of an already overflowing bucket of tears. So now every spring, so many thing bring me right back to the most sadness I ever have and ever will feel. After all this time I now come to expect it and almost welcome it. It strengthens my connection to him. When I was newer to grief, it felt like I was reliving it, it would take the whole month to get back to a place of peace.
 Triggers are part of a grieving life. And although they might seem like torture, they are little reminders that our love is so great. Remembering that those triggers are helpful in teaching us how to cope with our loss. They teach us a bad minute, or hour or day need not start you from square one again. It teaches us not to fear the sadness, but embrace it and let it pass through us. It is not forever, the tears and sadness will stop, usually quicker than the last surge. Grief is not something to be afraid of, it shows that we are loving compassionate people. It shows we care about others and ourselves.
In the almost 6 years since our son has passed and the countless times I have cried for him, never once have I felt guilty that I cry for him. He was and is my son, created in love and mourned so dearly.




http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Deal-with-Grief-Triggers-Long-After-the-Death-of-a-Loved-One&id=890551


http://www.highmarkcaringplace.com/cp2/ideasteens/teens_triggers.shtml