Jan 6, 2010 Meeting Update

      The conversation centered around guilt at our meeting this past Wednesday. It seems so strange that as we deal with this most painful loss, we feel guilt on top of everything else. The guilt that some how we were responsible for the loss, the guilt that we cannot "mother" our children. The guilt that as everyday passes and the fog lifts, that we may be happy again. There is the guilt, that somehow having another child is a betrayal of  our angel children. It is a very precarious edge we walk on as bereaved parents. We don't want to feel this pain, this sadness, it is too hard.  But as we move forward in our life without our children, we mourn the pain and sadness just as we mourn our children. Guilt is a natural part of grieving. We all loved our children more than we loved ourselves. It is that undying love that fuels some of the guilt.

       Moving forward is hard. Very hard. The guilt, the fear and grief is blinding. Finding ways to honor our children seems to help ease some of the guilt, fear and grief. When doing something with our children in mind, the guilt can be transformed. Since we have been deprived of mothering, we are doing the next best thing, acting in the name of our children.
      Our children would want us to be happy, to continue to grow our family, to remember them fondly. There are days that this is impossible. However, there are also days when the thought of our children can make us smile, knowing we are doing the best we can and honoring the spirit in which they came to us.


http://miscarriage.about.com/od/rememberingyourbaby/tp/miscmemorials.htm

http://bereavedmomsshare.com/page9.html