More Support Websites

Here are a few more website that have been of some help to myself and others. I would encourage searching yourself, with the advice to include "support" in the search engine. There are a lot of sites out there, many of which may be to sad or too shocking. Sticking with some of the bigger more well known sites might steer you in a more helpful direction.

www.earlyangels.com

www.bornangels.com/

http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a15155/miscarriage_stillbirth_infant_loss

http://forums.about.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?folderId=1&listMode=13&nav=messages&webtag=ab-miscarriage

Support Groups

One of the best ways to deal with the grief of losing a child is to speak with other bereaved parents. Only another bereaved parent can truly understand what life is like without your child. Going to local support group meetings can be a way to minimize the isolated feeling sometimes felt. It can also be a great way to create a supportive network for yourself to share the difficult feelings and  emotions. We sometimes keep our feelings and thoughts hidden from our other friends and family, for fear they will make hurtful statements or think we are going crazy. Sometimes a local support groups might not work because of other obligations. This is where online support can come in. Many bereaved parents reach out online as a way to cope with their grief. There are tons of very helpful groups that can be found after a bit of looking. Below are just five of thousands. There is help our there in so many forms....You are not alone.


http://www.missfoundation.org/forums/

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/home.aspx

http://babylossandhealing.com/forums/

http://hygeiafoundation.org/form1.htm

http://www.inciid.org/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=29

Blessings

"God Bless the broken road that led me straight to my children" A friend in grief recently posted this, speaking of her angel daughter, living son and son on the way.

So often we only think of the sadness and pain associated with our losses, not the gifts that come as a result of our losses. Subsequent children, life lessons, new friends, courage, faith, hope. These "gifts" are so powerful. We are changed so completely by our losses we hardly recognize ourselves.  In the beginning, it can be hard to think you will ever be happy again. As time goes on, even though our sadness continues, we long for happiness again. When the initial shock of our loss has worn off a little, it is possible to start seeing the miracles our children leave with us. The little signs, others may take for granted, a sunny day, a butterfly, a new friend. It's important to not let the grief cover you so much that you cannot see these things. I try to see only the happy times and "good" left behind by my son. Without his passing, I would have never found out about a potentially life-threatening condition I carry. Apparently, my life is important enough to stay here, as hard as that is without him.  Without his passing, my marriage might not be so strong. Apparently, my husband and I belong together. I would not have created this blog. Apparently, it can be helpful to other living in grief. The list is almost endless, the blessing my son has bestowed onto me.  I am thankful every day for my son. Without his passing, I would not have seen the light.

Technical Difficulties

I apologize, apparently some of the post have disappeared. I am investigating this and will get everything back in oder ASAP.

Mother's Day

"Motherhood is an eternal place within your heart...a sacred place that belongs to you. Deep within the very essence of your existence, you are all mothers, whether you have living children or not-- you're still mothers-- beautiful and loving mothers. And while you may not be able to care for your child/children on earth, that sacred place of motherhood remains within you. Remember always that the love of a mother is stronger than any other force in the universe. The love of a mother transcends death." ~Joanne Caccitore, Founder of the MISS Foundation




Wishing everyone a peaceful and blessed Mother's Day 2010

How to Respond

This is the list  I've been looking for, for the 6 years I've been living as a bereaved parent. Many times people say thing that are hurtful or just not helpful and we have know idea how to respond. Sometimes it's just too much to think of a response. Later on I usually think of something to say, but the moment has passed. This will be particularly helpful to the newly bereaved, it can arm you with answers to questions and ways to stop insensitive remarks by well meaning friends and family.

http://www.bereavedparents.com/index.php/grief-topics/50-howtorespond

Special Days

Anniversaries, holidays, birthdays, date of death... these are the days bereaved parents dread.  We wait for them, and they mark the passing of another year without our beloved children. They are the days when your grief can surge and spill over. As if we need anything else to stress ourselves when dealing with life without our children, these days can be very stressful. We stress over who will remember and who will forget. We stress over what to do to honor our children. We stress over all the mundane activities we are still slaves to, even though we'd rather they all disappear at least for one day. April 19 marked our son Derek's 6th birthday. Every year we "celebrate" with a cake and sing happy birthday. It is so bittersweet. On one hand I love to sing happy birthday to our angel, on the other hand, I'd rather be singing to a living child. Hearing our other children sing happy birthday to their brother makes me cry, every time. Over the years I have heard of many things that can help commemorate the passing of another year. Planting a garden can be helpful and fun. Growing something that comes back year after year can really help ease the pain of not mothering a child. As each year passes, adding new plants can really make a beautiful memorial to your child. Some parents plant trees, watching it grow each year for your child. Having a balloon release is another suggestion. Sending a balloon up to your angel can be a nice thing to do, especially when you have other children.  We always spend Derek's birthday outside. The fresh air and sunshine make it very hard to be depressed and sad. I always think of it, as if he were living. If we had a living 6 year old, he's most likely want to be playing outside on his birthday. It's also important to remember, there is no right or wrong way to celebrate a special day. What works this year may or may not work next year. It's more important to do something that brings you peace at this emotional time.

http://www.alovingjourney.org/angelversary.htm