Relationship Issues

I recently read an article that said a large number of marriages having experienced the loss of a child fail. It really made me angry and sad. Sad for these marriages now facing the additional loss of their family, but angry because that does not have to be the case. I truly blame our society. We live in a society that does not allow bereaved parents to grieve. We are expected to put on an happy face and just move on, when inside we are dying. We aren't allowed to talk about our children, cry for our children, truly mourn the greatest loss of our life. It is insanity. How can a marriage expect to survive under that cover? How can a person survive? What we need is understanding, we need to be able to express our sadness in our own way. We need the acknowledgement that our children were and are an important part of our lives. We need the acceptance of the new people we have become after the loss of our child. All of these things could take the pressure off of our shoulders as we learn to live without our children instead of adding more stress to our lives.
 Now, sadly, there are marriages that cannot survive the loss of a child, but there are also marriages made stronger in spite of their loss. Of the ones I have seen, the greatest common factor is understanding. I think when a couple understands that the other partner is grieving in their own way, it can take a bit of pressure off the marriage. There will be times when you will grieve together as a couple, particularly when you are newly bereaved. In the beginning, you are both so raw. As a little time passes, people start to get more comfortable with their way of grieving. If we can respect that difference, we can reduce some of the conflict that might arise. Also if we can come together, and realize our common ground is our undying love for our children, we can team up against a society that does not recognize our babies.


http://www.thelaboroflove.com/forum/loss/bereavedmoms.html

http://marriage.about.com/cs/parenting/a/unthinkgrief.htm

http://www.erichad.com/marriage.htm