Anger

Anger is a very complicated feeling for the bereaved parent. We are angry at ourselves....blaming ourselves  for things we think we could have done differently. Anger at God.....wondering why he let something like this happen. Anger at others.....who say things they think comfort us but are actually very hurtful. Anger at the world for just going on like nothing happened. Anger is a burden that can be very hard to overcome. The anger can consume you. The loss of a child has no answer, it is impossible to reason out.  It is unlike any other grief.  If we allow the anger to take hold, we can hinder our healing, we can hinder our ability to find peace. I have always tried to think of what my son would have wanted when feelings of anger sneak in. I try to think about how, Derek would not have wanted me to be angry and miserable. He would want me to be happy. Sometimes that is all it takes to bring myself back. Other times when the anger has more of a hold. It can be helpful to let it out. Give yourself five or ten minutes to let it out, yell, scream, cry, throw something, punch a pillow, get it out of your head and heart. Then take a few breaths and regroup, try to figure out what triggered your more extreme anger and think of ways to handle it the next time it hits.  For me, the important thing is to realize is anger is part of my grief. I have to be mindful of it and not allow it to bring me down or set me back.


http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyloss/mcsurvivingemotionally.html

http://www.wdxcyber.com/nmood07.htm