Holidays

The holidays are the hardest time of the year, second only to anniversaries. Something about it being the "happiest" season, makes it harder without your beloved child. All the should have beens can be almost too much to bear as well as all the "thankful" "joyful' and "blessed" tidings. Not that we are ungrateful for the time spent with our children, it's just very difficult to feel "thankful" when we miss them so much. I try to post as many resources as possible during this time, every bit helps

http://stillstandingmag.com/2012/11/tis-the-season-the-gift-of-grace/

http://smallbirdstudios.com/sisterhood-of-loss-support/

http://facesofloss.com/

Sibling grief

Some of the most over looked grievers are the siblings of our beloved babies. Whether they were expecting a little brother or sister, or are babies born after the loss of a baby, they too experience loss. It can be hard as parents to explain what happened or we may want to protect them from grief. Either way, they need support too. Children are very resilient, but they way they learn how to grieve is through the examples they are shown by us. Thankfully and sadly, there are many authors who have written on the loss of a sibling in a way children can understand. i have added links for just a few, but they are good and can help start a dialog.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0972424113/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=stillstandingmag-20&linkCode=am2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0972424113

http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/1561230413/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=stillstandingmag-20&linkCode=am2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1561230413

http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0875167349/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=stillstandingmag-20&linkCode=am2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0875167349

Important

This link is very important. Currently the mental health "powers that be" are trying to define "normal" grieving as a two week period, after the loss of a loved one. After that, they will be able to diagnose the grieving individual as suffering a major depressive episode. This is insanity...plain and simple. Grief has no time limit.
  It took us a full year to emerge from the initial shock and rawness of the loss of our son. I have known others who it has taken even longer. Does this mean we are depressed?  Does this mean we need medication? No. It means we loved our children with every cell in our being. It means we are attempting to rebuild our lives, reinvent who we are, emerge from the ashes of our old life.
   It pains me deeply to think of all the loving parents who may be forced to supress the grief they feel after the loss of their child in order to avoid a diagnosis that may follow them for the rest of their lives.

Thank you Joanne Cacciatore for once again fighting for the rights of the bereaved parents of the world and truly honoring your daughter in your work.

Please click on this link and share it with everyone you know. Let the world know that loving your child is not major depression.

http://drjoanne.blogspot.com/2012/03/relativity-applies-to-physics-not.html

Ceremony of Remembrance

Dear Parents,

We invite you and your family to participate in our sixth annual Ceremony of Remembrance to honor and remember your child.

The ceremony will be held on Saturday, May 19th at Vassar Brothers Medical Center in the Joseph Tower Auditorium from 10:00 am- 12:00 noon. The service will begin promptly at 10:00 am

There will be a sacred candle lighting ceremony and a time for special tributes to be followed by a luncheon.

We want all of our families to hear when their child’s names are called in the stillness of the moment. To respect the solemnity of the ceremony, we ask that if your child need to play or becomes active and needs additional space, that you please utilize our child-care opportunity near by the event.

Please RSVP by April 2nd by calling Ann Critelli at (845) 224-6470 or by email at acritelli@health-quest.org. Please provide me answers to the following questions. Your response will assist us in planning the program for you and your family.

1. Would you like your child’s name or family name called during our “name reading ceremony?”

2. Would you like to have a special poem read in memory of your child? If so, please send it to me by April 2nd.:

Ann Critelli - HANDS
Vassar Brothers Medical Center
45 Reade Place
Poughkeepsie, NY 12601.
Email - acritelli@health-quest.org

1. We will have a slide presentation. Would you like to have your child’s photo, ultrasound picture, or a special image displayed during our service? If so, please mail it to me at the above address or email it to me. All pictures will be returned after the service.

2. Are you planning on using the babysitting services for this event?

We are preparing to make this day very special. Returning to the place where you last embraced your child is difficult. However, our hope is this memorial service will be a time of continued healing and support as you remember with others the love you have for your child.

The Joseph Tower building is on the grounds of the Medical Center, next to the Dyson Cancer Center. Please proceed to the auditorium on the first floor.
Please park in the parking garage across from the Medical center. The gated lot in front of the Joseph Tower building will not be available for parking.

New Year

Happy New Year.

May this year bring you peace. May this year bring you forgiveness. May this year bring you understanding. Our Children may not be with us physically, but they are with us in our hearts and with us in everything we do, no amount of time will change that.


http://www.irisremembers.com/poemsandstories/viewPoem.cfm?poemID=143

http://nicholastouch.blogspot.com/2010/01/new-years-resolutions-for-bereaved.html

http://www.californiasids.com/UploadedFiles/ParentVersions/HolidayTips.pdf