HANDS Meeting Cancellation 1/12/11

Our HANDS support group meeting scheduled for Janurary 12, 2011 has been cancelled due to a state of emergency in Dutchess County. Please do not venture out during the storm. We will be back next week at our usual time and place.

Christmas Poems

These are just a few poem I've found for the holidays. The holidays can be so difficult as they are child centered. Please take comfort in memorializing you child during the holidays. Even the smallest gesture at this time of year can bring great peace.

Please have a peaceful holiday and New Year and remember our children are proud of us.

http://pilari.org/articles/baby-loss-christmas-poem.html

http://www.angelabode.com/holidayideas.html

http://miscarriage.about.com/od/copingwithmiscarriages/qt/holidays.htm

Local Memorial Events

There is a candle lighting event to memorialize children who has passed. 


RHINEBECK: Burnett & White Funeral Homes of Rhinebeck and Red Hook, in conjunction with the international group The Compassionate Friends, will sponsor the seventh annual candle-lighting ceremony for anyone in the Hudson Valley who would like to remember a child who has died. Those who wish to participate should go to Burnett & White Funeral Home, 91 E.Market St., Rhinebeck, at 6:45 p.m. Dec. 12. The lighting of candles will begin at 7 p.m., followed by the sharing of memories and fellowship. A remembrance table will be available and those who attend are encouraged to bring photographs and memorabilia to display, as well as letters, poems, music or favorite readings to share. For more information, call 845-876-3193 or 845-758-5042.

Getting Through the Holidays

I  found this calendar to help ease the bereaved parent through the holidays and I thought it was great. I wish I had something like this when I was newly bereaved and struggling though our first holidays without Derek. It gives some great suggestions on things to do throughout the season to memorialize our babies.

http://www.erichad.com/holidays/calendar.htm

Thanksgiving

Please be kind to yourself this Thanksgiving and Holiday Season. Don't feel you need to put on a show, or happy face for others. You are a grieving parent, allow yourself to grieve. The holidays are a difficult time when you are a bereaved parent. It's not fair, the world seems to be celebrating when you don't feel there is a reason to celebrate. Don't let others tell you what to do or how to grieve, every person is different. There is no right or wrong. Try to keep your holidays simple, especially if this is your first. First holidays can be particularly painful, try to surround yourself with those who have been supportive and helpful in your grief.  Remember your love for your child isn't any more or less on this or any day. Even though it may be hard, try to remember the most wonderful memories of your child or pregnancy. Be kind to yourself, give yourself the gift of time and patience.
I hope your Thanksgiving is peaceful, and that you can enjoy the memories of your beloved child.

http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/images/Articles/PREPARING_FOR_THANKSGIVING.pdf

http://journeyfrommourning.blogspot.com/2010/11/forgiving-thanksgiving.html

http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/images/Articles/THANKFULVERSUSTHANKLESS.pdf

http://www.bpmarion.org/HTML/HolidayHelp.htm

Local Memorial Celebration

On November 2, St. Columba Church in Hopewell Junction NY, has a memorial mass. It is a wonderful mass, I went last year and am looking forward to going again this year.

New Web Resources

I have recently discovered some great new websites to help the grieving parent. I'm thrilled to see a shift in the way people are dealing with grief as bereaved parents. No longer are parents hiding their grief and keeping silent about their children. It seems more parents than ever are openly speaking about their losses and trying to educate others about the pain of living without their child. This is so inspirational to me and I hope it inspires others. Our children deserve to be spoken about proudly. Our loss is no small thing and needs to be acknowledged, only then will science take real interest in preventing the loss we endure.

http://www.facesofloss.com/

http://grieveoutloud.org/

http://thegriefeffect.blogspot.com/

http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.com/

http://whisperedsupport.blogspot.com/

http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/